Lover Know Thyself:

In Matters of Love Are You Venus- or Mars-Oriented

                                         

Venus and Mars are the classic references in the ‘laws of attraction’ particularly as far as astro-cosmology or where you fit into the larger scheme is concerned.

Venus symbolizes values.  Mars refers to passion.  Getting in touch with the one that is driving your love interests can save a lot of heartache.  I always say this is a course that would do well in high school when all of those raging hormones abound! 

Zooming in on Venus we find a burning heart love as the ‘force.’  This often shows up as a desire to bring beauty, healing, justice, harmony and peace into the world.  If you know that you think and feel about these qualities most of the time when it comes to expressing your love... you are ruled by Venus.  

Venus-Oriented Lovers are always thinking about relationships. This is because they are endowed with great amounts of of passionate love.  If we think about it, there would need to be this great reservoir in place to bring beauty, justice and peace to the whole world.  The downside comes when Venusians focus, as they inevitably will want to do, on one person (most often people they feel drawn to heal).  They find heaven in the honeymoon stage of the relationship.  However, shortly afterward, the cracks start to appear.  Unless the Venusian is paired with another Venusian or an enduring Mars-oriented mate, Venusian will start to feel trapped in limiting agony or there may even be social embarrassment about the new mate.  All that love cannot find its place in what would feel like stodgy convention when it is designated to ever-expanding art, social justice, beauty, peace and healing. 

A closer look at the Mars-Oriented Lover reveals relentless passion in the loins along with the conscious or unconscious need to render yourself immortal through your progeny.  Conventional relationships rule.  Marriage, 2.5 children and the white picket fence will set you up for life. Seeking all of the practical information that increases your and your family’s survival edge, your status, and your immortality through your bloodline will be most appealing. Fulfillment of your lust would be the first portal to the land of Mars-Oriented fulfillment.   

All of this is not to say that each of us does not possess a bit of both.  The Venus person can have everything, and more, that a conventional relationship can offer.  However, one’s work in the world will have to be the first relationship.  Then a partner who passionately loves you first, for what you have come to bring to the world, rather than for your societally-promoted role can bring you relationship fulfillment. Equally, one who has complimentary work wherein a magnificent symbiosis expands both of you beyond what you could have done alone could be the answer.  Of course, Mars-Oriented Lovers can enjoy beauty and peace. 

 It is the bottom line orientation that will determine your authentic love platform.  Which one defines your love?  Which one gets your passion and heart flowing?  Venus or Mars?  Lover know thyself is a way to bring more harmony into our world.  

There is a way to confirm this in your birth data signature.  I offer a quick reply.  See it under Products on my website:  www.khaleghlquinn.com

Is it Love or a Relationship of Convenience?

Is it Love or a Relationship of Convenience?

With Valentines Day upon us the subject of love is the flavor of the month.  
FREE Practice at end of article.

What is love?  

Granted, it is different things to different people - at least 50 shades!:-) There are chapters on the subject in the holy books and it is the grist of poets. Of course, one might say there are many gradations of love...but is there a such a thing as love that has universal appeal?

Dr. Khaleghl Quinn will be sharing her thoughts and experience on love over the next month.  For now, she lays down the game rules for a healthy friendship along with romantic love that not only raises the heat on the pheromone thermometer but raises energy, joy and spirituality between the lover and the beloved.

The Core Nature of Love:

1.  The roots of love rest within the way one loves oneself.  Whether we are aware of it or not the way(s) we love another reflects the way we love ourselves.  The Golden Rule:  Do unto others as you would have done to you is useful here in reflecting back how one loves oneself.  However, if there is no self awareness in this respect calling upon the practice of the ancient Taoist message to promote awareness could prove quite an eye-opening adventure:  One who knows others is wise.  One who knows oneself is enlightened. [Chapter 33 of the Tao te Ching]

The roots of a relationship of convenience (which I shall now refer to as RC) stem from an agenda, spoken or not...usually undisclosed.

2.   Love starts with an open curiosity about the being of interest. It does not project its fears, expectations and limitations onto the other.  It knows how to distinguish the difference between the person standing in front of them from those from the past...unless one is operating out of a pattern in which the same behavior in the beloved  is showing up to instigate more awareness.  We all have blind spots.  Intention is key.

RC makes assumptions about the being...such as they can get me here or there [you fill in the blank] or give me [you fill in the blank].

3.  Love is a special radar.  It knows how to detect and feel the heart and soul - the very essence - of the other.  Love reflects both ways by shedding its light on both the lover and the beloved’s core essences.

The RC sheds its light only on what it is hoping to acquire.

4.  Love desires to discover and release the stagnant defenses it has carried from previous wounds to offer the beloved its pure unencumbered pure light.

In the RC there is little to no awareness of the baggage that is being brought into the relationship. 

6.  Love is based on respect.

RC is based on what is wanted and needed from the other.

7. Love is enduring.  One does not loose the warm feeling of love or the connection when one does not get one’s way.

RC cuts off, punishes and looks for an exit at the soonest opportunity.

8. Love moves toward in difficult times unless moving away helps the relationship.

RC moves away or cuts off emotional warmth in difficult times.

9.  Love wants to know what organically supports the well being of the other - and as Bertolt Brecht describes - “what makes that being tick?”  What are their standards, their preferences, likes and dislikes?  Love makes this knowledge of the beloved a priority and honors it daily.  

In a RC one or both parties are only interested in getting what they want from the relationship.  The other persons wants ard needs are not heard or valued.

10.   Love receives and gives equally.  It is a fluid exchange in which both people feel nurtured and prioritized.

RC is often based on an attachment to giving or receiving, but not both.  In this RC the need for control is at the helm, not love.  

11.  Love sees the highest most expanded qualities in the other as well as the vulnerabilities.  It is not an either or situation, rather, a both and... If one cannot see these more expanded qualities, due to personal limitations, one remains open to learn about these qualities in the other and is honest about how they can or cannot meet and support the greatness of the other.

RC assumes and projects one’s own preferences onto the being of interest.  There is the desire to pull the other person into one’s fantasies instead of co-discovering a way of life based on both parties’ interests.  In the RC one or both participants are not interested in the other’s preferences.   

12.  Love welcomes and enjoys the adventure of deepening the relationship through its twists and turns.  

RC is attached to maintaining the status quo.

13.  Love is grateful.  Daily gratitude is expressed to the beloved in various ways.  Love acknowledges the helpful actions of the beloved.  Acknowledgement is an indication that one is present with what is happening.

RC ignores, only takes and even acts as though it is their idea.  Rarely is gratitude expressed. 

14.  Love does not stop loving when both parties go separate ways.  It still wishes for the other’s happiness and well being.

RC cuts off when the other person is out of sight.

To conclude: Relationships of convenience may be fun and engaging for a season especially between consenting adults. They may blossom into love.  No judgement.  Knowing the difference puts the choice in your hands. True love is a radiant force that brings out the best in the lover and the beloved - the practical, sensual, erotic, and spiritual.  Like the sun it sheds its warmth and vitality on both consistently.  It is as old, as enduring and as nurturing as water...and now we know that water is older than the sun.  LOVE!

                __________________________________________________________________

 Dr. Khaleghl Quinn’s Two Tantric Practices

 for deepening love and respect for each other:

1. Sit back to back with as much of both spines touching as is comfortably possible.  Breathe deeply
    for 3 to 20 minutes.  Feel the beautiful child in your partner.

2. Sit back to back with the shoulders touching (see diagram).
    Breathe 3 to 20 minutes.  Feel the exquisite eternal essence of your partner.

Danger:  The more you do these practices the more you will fall in love or you will gain clarity on
                the direction of your relationship.  :-)



                 (For practice # 2):                                                            

These practices are useful preparation for when the two of you (partners of all types) have to do a presentation or performance together.  It will align and coordinate your efforts. Enjoy!